Being Gay Versus Listening to Rock Music?

Before I was saved, I asked a very good friend of mine if as a Christian, was listening to hard rock music wrong.  She told me if God wants me to change and not listen to hard rock, then He’d convict me about that.  At the time, music was very important to me.  I thought Christians would judge me because of the music I listened to, so it may have pushed me away from going to church if I had received a different answer.  Going to church and feeling God’s presence and love for me was instrumental in my turning my life to Him.  If I had felt hatred from some Christians for listening to rock, I probably would have never stepped foot in a church.

For someone that is gay, there is much more bigotry, prejudice, and hatred directed at them.  Anyone that does not realize how prevalent the idea is for the GLBT community that Christians condemn and shun gays, and have been very hurt by them is either very naïve, in denial, or has some bigotry.    My daughters have been verbally abused by their family, who at one time said they loved them.  They were told by their step mother that they could never talk to or see their sister because they are gay.  Their paternal grandmother wrote a letter to them stating they were going to burn in hell for being gay.  Their dad rejected them and said he didn’t want anything to do with them because they were gay.  Their grandfather on one side said that he hates all lesbians and that they were no longer his granddaughters.  Their grandfather on another side refused to be around during the first holidays after Brandy came out.  That was my daughters first time not spending Christmas with him.  I also regrettably told my daughter she was ruining her life and should go to a Christian camp to change.  All but one of these people professed to be very strong Christians.  The way they are treated is of course, much worse than being judged for listening to rock music.  So, it isn’t a fair comparison.  But, bear with me to hear my point. 

I think that as believers, we should let God, through the Holy Spirit, convict others of what needs to be changed.  Yes, if they don’t know that God considers something wrong, then we may be led to tell them the truth in love.  But, I guarantee you that everyone that is gay already knows that the church thinks what they are doing is wrong.  It does more harm than good, to keep telling them this.  Instead of helping, it turns them away from Christians, the church, and ultimately God.  Is it really telling them truth “in love” to do this?  I believe there needs to be MUCH more love demonstrated to balance things out from all the condemnation the GLBT community has received.  And, besides, that is what WE as Christians, are supposed to do, to love others.  If God wants someone to change something, then God is the best one to determine what needs to be changed, when it needs to be changed, and how it should be changed.  There could be much more important things He wants to show someone first, like maybe that He loves them and has their best interests in mind.  I strongly believe we are just getting in the way of God by being so judgmental and unloving.

So, with a small group of Christians, we are going to try to do our small part in counteracting the negativity the GLBT community has had from people they usually identify as Christians.  We are going to Denver’s PrideFest this weekend.  We will replicate parts of the “I’m Sorry Campaign”, which we saw individuals with the Marin Foundation do at the Chicago Pride Festival.  We’ll have shirts that say “I’m Sorry”, signs with “We’re sorry Christians haven’t loved you like Jesus does”.  For the signs I’m creating for Pride, I’m adding scriptures about God loving them, how everyone who believes will be saved, and emphasizing that what they have seen from some other Christians is NOT how God wants us to behave.  These scriptures include the following: 

• For God so loved the world that WHOSOEVER believes in him shall have eternal life (John 3:16)
• And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.  God is love.  Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him (1 John 4:16)
• For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.  (Romans 8:38-39)
• Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt of love one another for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law.  The commandments, “You shall not commit adultery”, “You shall not covet,” and whatever other command there may be, are summed up in this one command:  Love your neighbor as yourself. (Romans 13:8-9)   
• Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins (1 Peter 4:8)
• And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless on the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ – to the glory and praise of God (Philippians 1:9-11)
• Do not judge (Matthew 7:1)

My prayer is that from our action at Pride, at least one person that is gay or wondering if they are gay, would realize that not all Christian churches would shun them, that God loves them, and that many Christians care deeply about them.  If just one person is impacted, then it will certainly be worth it.

I think everyone would agree that my comparing listening to rock music and being gay at the beginning of this blog are not good comparisons.  However, again… who are WE to say what is most important in a particular person’s life for God to work through?   WE are not omniscient.  He is!  In regards to salvation, all sins are the same (Romans 3:23, 6:23 and James 2:10-11).   Is listening to rock music a sin… maybe for some people, it is.  The Bible states that everything that does not come from faith is sin (Romans 7:18).  But, I’m not going to say listening to rock is a sin for everyone.

I should say that many Christians and Christian churches do believe we are to love and show grace to everyone.  Some are very good at actually demonstrating this behavior.  However, there are also many that do not even realize how deep seeded their prejudice is, or how they believe so much incorrect information.  I get that, because I use to be the same way.  Not too long ago, I too would’ve said that I hated the sin, but loved the sinner.  But, believing or saying this is so far from actually feeling and demonstrating true unconditional love.  I wouldn’t have come upon this realization and started changing if it wasn’t for my two wonderful daughters.  Dare I say that I'm thankful for this experience?  Something to ponder…

Planning For Pride Fest

I believe God has provided a great opportunity.  Through a mutual friend, I was introduced to another lady who is also passionate about ministering to the GLBT community.  We’ve been discussing what we could do at the upcoming Gay Pride Festival in Denver to minister about God’s grace and love.  She had investigated some different options and one that would work is to hand out sunscreen and to pray for anyone that wanted prayer.  When I told my daughter Brandy about this, she showed me the below picture from Facebook of a group of Christians at the Pride Festival in Chicago.  I later found out my new friend had also seen this and had been inspired by it.

When I mentioned to 3 of my close Christian friends about our plans, I was met with some surprising resistance.  One of their points was that they didn’t think we should apologize for Christians, as if all Christians have treated gays poorly.  They thought it could be perceived as Christian-bashing when there are a lot of churches and Christians that feel and try to show God’s grace and love to everyone, including them.  I thought about adding the word “some” before Christians in our planned statement of “We are sorry Christians haven’t loved you like Jesus does”.  This seemed like it was diluting the message and didn’t seem as effective, but I couldn’t articulate it very well to them.  Then, after telling my new ministry partner about this, she stated very well what I couldn’t say.  She said, “I don’t want to change the signs because I feel like a tendency, as believers who want to extend grace and love, is to distance ourselves from the rest of the Christian community and sort of make it an us-and-them type thing where it’s like ‘these Christians do that, but we’re not like that.’  And I think in order for the power of the apology to be heard, it needs to come from the group that is doing the hurting.  I don’t think we can disassociate ourselves from that, as much as I’d like to.  I think we have to recognize that Christians, of which we are a part of the group, have done the hurting, and so we’re going to do the apology.  And that’s why I don’t want to say some Christians because we are a part of that.”  I totally agree with her!  So, we’re proceeding as planned with printing the original message on labels to place on sunscreen bottles and signs.  We’re also making shirts with “I’m sorry” on them.

The conversation with my 3 friends has stirred up a lot of emotions.  I'm going through some major life events right now including health problems, moving, and an upcoming trial for the murderer of a close friend.  So my waking up at 3 this morning and crying more thinking about this topic, is not all because of this single issue.  However, I do still have a lot to work through around this whole Christianity and gay topic.  It's not only a complicated issue with many different facets, but it also is very emotional for me for multiple reasons relating to my daughters.  I don't even know where to start.  I'm frustrated about how people without a personal tie to this subject don't really seem to care.  I'm confused how to explain the importance of this issue to people that already have a deep seeded prejudice and cultural bias, let alone mix that in with sensitivities around religious issues.  I'm angry at the individuals I've personally encountered that have been blatantly abusive and bigoted towards my daughters, especially when it is done under the name of Christianity.  That is NOT what Jesus would want!  That is NOT being a Christian!  I heard this morning how last week my daughter's sister was crying to her about thinking she's gay and unable to tell either of her parents.  She had made hints to her mother, who said "you're not a dyke are you, because if you are you'll burn in hell".  I just want to shake these type of people and slap some sense into them... okay, I realize violence won't help, but I'm so angry at people like this!!!   I guess I should stop now; more to come later.